Chimeras
by Psycho and Princess
Summary: Fuhrer Mustang thinks that Fullmetal is in need of a vacation, so he calls in an old friend for a favor, and poof! Ed's enrolled in magic school along with his Lieutenant and his boyfriend. The rating is just for safety! Chimera!Edvy, AlxOC
1. Chapter 1

Okay, Princess hates stories like this, which means this is a solo mission for poor Psycho. I personally love this pairing, but Princess wants nothing to do with it. Princess is in here, however as the OC Bryanna Jay.

Warning you in advance, this is a yaoi story, the pairing is Edward and Envy, so if you're going to flame me, flame me for my horrible writing skills.

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or HP. If I did, you would never see any of the episodes on the TV, and you would have to wait for forever and a day for the books, due to my large procrastination issues.

**Edit:7/30/11: **Okay, so I reread through this once or twice while suffering from a massive bought of writers block, and I realized: this is some seriously shitty writing. I think most of the problem is due to the fact that I don't have any beta readers willing to go over this for me, but another part of it is that I was just that bad a writer when I first started this...

It still probably needs some work, but I did the best I could with the details and all that jazz.

...Anyone wanna beta this for me?

So without further ado, I present to you the rewritten version of Chimeras!

~Psycho

* * *

Lieutenant Colonel Riza Hawkeye walked down the hallway of the Duck Inn, holding the travel plans and other information for Colonel Elric. Hawkeye knew the amount of trouble Fuhrer Mustang had gone to to get Edward this little trip, and she also knew Ed was going to hate Roy for doing this, even though he let Envy and Lieutenant Jay come with. Edward really needed the vacation, even if it was to a Boarding school for those who think they can do magic. Riza wasn't too sure on the details, but apparently, Roy had called in a favor from an old acquaintance, who was the deputy headmistress for a boarding school in London where they taught their students magic, and Edward and his friends was eligible to come.

She was about to open the door to the Colonel's room, when she heard loud, hoarse purring coming from it, and thought it would be safer for her eyes if he knocked first. The purring stopped, and a very startled "Come in!" came from the other side of the door. Riza opened the door to find two hastily dressed chimeras, and a blanket, discarded from its place on the couch in the center of the hotel living room.

"Lieutenant Colonel Hawkeye! What a pleasant surprise!" Ed nervously stuttered out, his golden ears poking out from underneath his matted blond hair that hung down around his waist, not in its usual braid or pony tail, and the tip of his dark golden furred tail flicking nervously back and forth.

Riza still couldn't get over Edward's new feline appearance. Few people were in the know about what happened, her included, but it was rather hard not to notice or stare. Even though he was almost 16, he still hadn't risen from his minute height of four feet, nine inches. Even though Envy was in the same situation as Ed, he easily cleared six feet in height; a fact that was frequently and cruelly pointed out to the shorter of the two. Both boys had large ears on top of their head a more natural shade than their hair color, but only smooth skin where a normal human's would be. They also had long, sleek tails the same color as the rest of the fur on their bodies and large paws instead of feet, the fur on them suddenly halting around their ankles. Their hands were in a similar condition, only being more human shaped and the hair fading around the elbow.

It was both a curse and a blessing that Ed's automail escaped unscathed, though the original point of the transmutation leading up to the accident was supposed to regain his missing limbs. Even though their senses improved drastically from the feline element that was thrown in, Ed's eyesight was ruined beyond repair, so now he had to wear glasses anytime he read anything so it wouldn't get any worse. That was something he protested against for a while, saying that he didn't want them because they made him look to much like his father.

The question that had always nagged at the back of Riza's mind was why exactly Envy chose to stay in the form both he and Ed had been cursed to occupy. His shape shifting abilities never cost him anything, so why hadn't he morphed the disfigurements away? It might just be because he was used to the form by now, as he always answered, but Riza suspected it was something on a more caring level. Like perhaps the reason was he didn't want Ed to feel lonely, doomed to shoulder the burden of their mistakes himself again, like when he was on his journey to right the wrongs he and his brother had preformed?

"I have the plans for your vacation." She told him, handing him the manila folder with train tickets and other various important pieces of paper hastily stuffed in it by Roy earlier that morning.

"Chibi! You didn't tell me you were going on a vacation! I wanna come!" Envy exclaimed, reading the contents of the folder over his boyfriends shoulder.

"I didn't know either." Ed told him, pulling out his reading glasses from a pocket of his pants and quickly skimming over the papers out loud. "_Colonel Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, 1st_ _Lieutenant Bryanna Jay, the Aqua Alchemist, and Envy, are given permission by the Fuhrer of Amestris and Professor Albus Dumbledore to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for the school year, and their remaining years if they so choose, even though they have not started in their first years like required._"

"What? This doesn't make any sense! Witchcraft and Wizardry? Is this some kind of joke?" He exclaimed after he finished reading and yanked off his glasses angrily.

"You have, by orders of the Fuhrer, been given a year long extended vacation to Hogwarts, along with your Lieutenant, and your boyfriend." Hawkeye explained to him, ignoring the burning, angered glare she was receiving from him.

"What about Al?" Ed asked her.

"As Alphonse is currently on an assignment as the ambassador, he will not be accompanying you, but you can visit him frequently during school holidays." She informed him.

Ed nodded, though from his expression he was still far from pleased. "Alright, I can live with that. I still have a few questions about all this magic business, though."

"Professor McGonagall will be here tomorrow to transport you to the place where you will be saying until the start of the school year, I'm assuming you can ask her questions then. Also, Fuhrer Mustang has left three sets of all subjects for all seven required years in your office for you to study." Hawkeye continued in a business like manner.

"What do you think, Envy?" Edward asked his boyfriend who was leaning heavily on his shoulder.

"Well, you're going regardless Chibi, so I might as well come too." Envy said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Oh and, Colonel Elric," Hawkeye started to add. "Seeing as this is a vacation from work to a school, there isn't a need for anyone to know your standing in our military, alright?"

Edward nodded, though Envy only mumbled out a uncaring "no promises."

"Are you going to inform Lieutenant Jay, or should I?" Hawkeye asked.

"We can do it, right Envy?" Ed said.

"Sure, Chibi. We can go right now." Envy agreed.

Hawkeye nodded and saluted. Ed dismissed her with a sloppy salute of his own and she the room, closing the door behind her.

As soon as Envy was sure Lieutenant Colonel Hawkeye was gone, he turned Ed around and lifted him up off the ground, and Ed automatically slung his legs around Envy's waist. Envy kissed him wolfishly, his head spinning from the highly intoxicating aroma of cinnamon and machine oil and an unidentifiable scent that was simply _Ed._ Deep purrs rumbled through the two of them as Envy's hands softly moved up from where they were gripped around Ed's legs and underneath his shirt, soothingly scratching and rubbing as he worked his way up towards his small love's neck at a snail's pace. Envy traced the outline of Ed's lips with his rough tongue, and a moan bubbled up from deep in Ed's throat as his lips parted that was quickly swallowed by Envy as he entwined their tongues together.

"It's nice to know we're finally getting a vacation from all this, huh Chibi?" Envy asked when they finally broke the kiss. Edward replied by kissing Envy again, the purrs rumbling too loudly from his chest and his brain too wrapped up in a fog of pleasured bliss to form a coherent response. Their tails extended, wrapping around each other as purrs shook through their chests.

Ed was the one who broke the kiss finally. "We still have to tell Bryanna about all this." He reminded a frowning Envy. "Once that's done, we have nothing to do until tomorrow." He continued with a feral grin, showing his pointed feline teeth. Envy purred with anticipation, the tip of his black-green tail flicking back and forth.

"Is Bryanna at home now, or is she still at the office?" Envy asked as he set Ed back down on the ground.

"She's probably at home right now." Ed told him. "She lives a couple blocks away. Her dad's some military bigwig, so you probably should stick to a different form until we get to her room."

Envy nodded, then shifted to a black, fuzzy, kitten with a dark green tint in its fur. Edward giggled, then scoped Envy up in his hands and dashed out of the room.

* * *

Edward walked down the street in the afternoon sun. It was another beautifully sunny day in Central, and the cat part of him was loving it. Ed smiled as Envy curled up against Ed's chest, still in his cat form. Edward walked up the walkway of General Jay, one of the military's oldest employes. He took a deep breath and shifted Envy to his automail hand and knocked once on the door with his flesh one. The door was answered by a large, beefy man wearing a white, long sleeve button up shirt and tan pants.

"Yes?" He grunted.

"Hey, General Jay." Ed stuttered out. "Is Bryanna home?" He asked.

The General's face lit up. "You must be one of Bree's friends!" He exclaimed. "What's your name, son?" He asked.

"Edward Elric." He told the General.

"Edward Elric? The Fullmetal Alchemist?" Ed nodded. "So you're the man my little Bryanna's working for?" He asked, then continued talking. "Come on in! Bryanna's in her room."

He looked down at Ed and noticed Envy in his hands. "Who's your friend?" He asked Ed.

"This is my kitten, Envy. I thought he'd like to come with to visit my Lieutenant." Ed said, coming up with an on the spot excuse for Envy being there.

"He's pretty cute." The General admitted as he scratched behind one of Envy's ears, then turned towards the inside of the house and called up the stairs, "Bryanna! Colonel Elric's here, and he brought a cat!"

A tall 17-year-old with elbow length dirty blond hair, watery blue eyes and wearing a blue military outfit appeared at the top of the stairs.

"I love kitties!" she shouted. "Come on up, Ed!" She added before disappearing through one of the doors. Ed walked in, the General shutting the door behind him, then walked up the stairs with Envy in hand.

When Edward got into Bryanna's room there was only one word he could use to describe it: blue. It had turquoise colored walls, a night blue fuzzy round rug over the dark brown hardwood flooring, and a queen sized bed with ruby red sheets, fuzzy blanket, and quilt. In one corner of the room was a sofa in the shape of big red lips. All the other furniture -bookcases, desk, lamps etc. -were also all shades of blue.

"Eeep!" Bryanna squealed, grabbing Envy from Ed and smothering him in her chest.

"He is sooo cute! I could just kiss him! I wish Al would get me a kitten! What's his name?" She continued to ramble on, scratching Envy's belly.

Ed chuckled. "Lay off, he's mine. His name is Envy."

"Ewww!" She exclaimed, reflexively throwing up her hands and dropping Envy to the ground. "You brought the palm tree here? To my house? Into my room? That is sooo gross!"

"Hey!" A voice exclaimed. "That wasn't very nice! Why did you stop rubbing my belly? I liked that!"

Bryanna and Ed looked down at the black-green kitten as it changed back into Envy.

Bryanna sighed and sat down on her bed, bouncing slightly as he landed. "What are you guys here for anyway?" She asked them.

"Official military business." Ed told her while taking out the manila folder from a pocket of his long red coat and handing it to her. "You're going on vacation."

"_Colonel Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist, 1st_ _Lieutenant Bryanna Jay, the Aqua Alchemist, and Envy, are given permission by the Fuhrer of Amestris and Professor Albus Dumbledore, to attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry for the school year, and their remaining years if they so choose, even though they have not started in their first years like required._" Bryanna read from the paper. "Is this an assignment?" She asked.

Ed shook his head. "No, but seeing as it is an order from the Fuhrer, you have to do it."

Bryanna frowned. "On one hand, I get a year long vacation from the rest of the military, on the other hand, I'm stuck with my commanding officer and his homunculus boyfriend for a whole year. I don't know if I should thank Fuhrer Flame Head, or kick him were it hurts."

"You will get holidays, though, it is a school after all, You can even spend the whole time with Al, because that's when he's coming out to visit." Ed told her.

Bryanna's face brightened up. "I can live with that. I probably should start packing. When are we leaving?"

"One of the professors is coming by my office tomorrow to pick us up tomorrow." He told her.

"What about Envy? He can't exactly waltz in there and say hello to everyone now, can he?" Bryanna asked.

Ed frowned. "I'll think of something. You should probably bring some money, too. We have to buy supplies for magic school."

Bryanna nodded. "I'll see you at the office tomorrow Ed. Call me when you know the time." She quickly ran out the door and to the top of the stairs, but not before running into the wall beside the banister first.

"Did you run into the wall again?" Ed called out to her.

She answered his question with a slightly dazed "no!" before getting up off the floor and leaning over the banister.

"Dad!" She shouted. "I'm going on a year long assignment with Ed to a magic school! You can come and visit during the holidays if you want! I'm leaving tomorrow!"

"Alright!" He grunted back. "Just don't do anything illegal!

"I won't!" She promised, then dashed back to her room. "Bye Ed!" She told him.

He nodded, then picked up Envy, who was back in his cat form, and Bryanna ungracefully shoved him down the stairs and out the door.

* * *

As soon as they arrived back at their apartment, Envy leaped from Ed's arms while simultaneously shifting back to his normal form. Ed only had time to shake off his boots and toss his coat on the floor before Envy swiftly kicked his legs out from underneath him and swept him up bridal style and whisked the two away to their room.

Envy threw Ed down on the bed and then jumped up onto it himself. He buried his head in the bend of Ed's neck and nibbled at the tender skin hard enough to leave a mark. Ed squirmed underneath him as Envy lapped and sucked on the mark he left, his stomach tightening with desire as Envy's heavy weight settled over him and pinned him in place on their bed. Envy's sharp teeth moved over to scrape at the beating pulse in his throat, making Ed arch his hips up to rub against Envy, who's thin skirt did little to hide the fact that he was half-hard already.

Ed mashed their lips together, forcing his way into Envy's mouth and all but fucking his mouth with his tongue. Envy moaned his name the whole time, his eyes falling shut and not showing any reaction when Ed flipped them over, claiming his new spot on top. Envy tangling his fingers into Ed's braid and Ed running his hands over Envy's sweat dampened neck, over his shoulders and down his arms.

Envy could only mutter a confused mewl when Ed got up.

Edward had gotten up to call Colonel Hawkeye about the time they needed to leave tomorrow, which was very hard, considering Envy is a very possessive boyfriend, and clung to him the whole time.

After that, Ed called Bryanna to tell her the time she needed to come in with her stuff, which was even harder, because Envy was pulling on his tail the whole time, trying to get him to come back to bed, which made him very irritated.

The rest of the night was spent in a very disturbing silence, broken only by the occasional purr of happiness and growl of pleasure.

* * *

**Edit:7/30/11: **Okay, I was being kinda lazy with my editing skilz at the end, but oh well...

Hope you like this version better. Tell me in a review possibly?


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

**A.N **Well? How are you liking the story so far? Not too many reviews, but a lot of alerts. Also, I want to thank Flyer-2100 and their story Palm tree's, transvestite's and pissed of Toads for inspiring me to write this story!

* * *

It was ten till two, and Ed, Envy and Bryanna were all heading towards Ed's office to meet up with the teacher that was supposed to pick them up. Ed and Aqua were both wearing their military uniforms, and Envy was disguised as a black-green cat again in Ed's hands. They had only taken three suitcases full of stuff, since they didn't know how much room their supplies would take. The walk was rather quite, Ed scratching Envy behind his ear and Bryanna fiddling with her watch the whole way.

When they finally got to the military building, the lady at the front desk said there was a woman waiting for Ed and Bryanna in his office. They walked in and met a very strict looking woman that reminded Ed of Hawkeye, except fot the fact that she was wearing emerald green robes.

The woman peered curiously at the twoo teens and the cat in Ed's hands. "I was told there would be three of you." She said curiously.

Envy then jumped out of Ed's arms and turned back into his normal palm tree looking self as soon as his paws hit the floor.

The professor looked at Envy with a surprised expression. "Are you an animagus?" She asked him.

It was Envy's turn to look surprised and confused. "Ani-what?" He asked. "Lady, I'm a shape shifter."

Edward faced-palmed. "Did you have o=to say that Envy?" The colonel asked his boyfriend.

Envy smiled, revealing a row of sharp teeth. "Yes Chibi, yes I did."  
Bryanna sighed as she ran a hand through her blond hair. "I apologize for their behavior Professor." She told the woman.

The professor smiled. "It's quite alright Miss...?"

"Bryanna Jay, the Aqua Alchemist, first lieutenant to Colonel Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist." Bryanna said with a salute.

Ed turned to face the professor with a saute. "Colonel Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist."

Envy lazily looked at the professor. "I am the Sin of Envy. If anyone else knew I was here, the military would be called in with the orders 'shoot to kill.' I am also the boyfriend of Colonel Chibi shrimp in front of me."

The Professor's Eyes widened. "Sin?"

"It's a nick name." Ed put in hurriedly.

"The professor looked in surprise at the three teenagers. "I am Professor Minerva McGonagall, deputy headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

"Magic doesn't sound like a very believable concept." Ed dismissed.

Professor McGonagall frowned. "Magic is very real Colonel Elric."

To prove her point, she pulled a stick out from a pocket on her robes and flicked it in Ed's direction, causing him to rise up in the air by his ankle. Instinctively, Ed's claws came out and his tail uncurled from where it was hiding underneath his half skirt, while his ears darted from where they were pressed under his hair, and he let out a hiss, bearing his fangs at McGonagall.

"Oi! Let my Chibi down!" Envy yelled as he did the same thing as Ed, hissing at the dumbstruck professor.

McGonagall lowered he wand, and Ed to the ground, where he landed on all four appendages.

"Down kitties." Bryanna said, flicking both hissing chimeras in the ear. "Do I have to get the hose again? Anyway, we know magic is real, can we go?"

"May I inquire...? Professor McGonagall asked, gesturing to the two boys.

"It's none of your business." Bryanna snapped.

Professor McGonagall frowned, but didn't push it. She pulled out a cracked, rusty mirror from underneath her robes. "Grab your luggage tight, then take hold of the mirror." She told them.

"What does this do?" Bryanna asked.

"It's called a Portkey; it will activate when I count to three and transport us to our destination." McGonnagall explained.

None of the other people in the room believed her, but they all touched the piece of garbage anyway, and were immediately pulled up through a straw by their navels. Not a very good feeling.

* * *

First Lieutenant Bryanna Jay landed on the stone of the alleyway _hard_. The rest of their small group however, landed on their feet. Rather annoyed, Bryanna got up to follow the professor while rubing her backside where it collided with the cold, unforgiving ground. $Edward and Envy hung back behind the two women, holding hands and purring soothingly to eachother with their tails entwined.

McGonagall led them up the steps to a door with a number 12 on it. That's all that was there. On one side of the door was building 11, and on the other, 13. That didn't make much sense to any of them.

McGonagall knocked on the door, and a shriek came from the other side that was silenced by an annoyed grunt and what sounded like a very painful smack. The knock was answered by a short, plump woman with very bright orange hair. "Minerva! How nice to see you!" She greeted.

"Hello Molly." McGonagall said.

"Well, come in!" Molly invited before ushering them all inside and shutting the door behind them.

"The meeting's not for a few hours. I'll take these three upstairs to their rooms for you." Molly offered before leading the three teens upstairs.

"What are your names?" Molly asked as she led them through the musty house and up a cobweb filled staircase to the floors above.

"I'm Bryanna Jay."

"Edward Elric."

"Envy."

Molly looked confused when the last name was said, but ignored it. "I'm Molly Weasley, but you can call me Molly." She led them down a dusty hallway to a row of doors on either side before turning around to face them all.

"What are you wearing?" She asked, looking at the two alchemist's military uniforms and Envy's tube top and short skirt, then shook her head.

"This is your room Bryanna." She said, opening one of the doors showing an empty room. "You'll share it with my daughter Ginnny and her friend Hermione."

She opened the door to the room across the hall from it. "Envy and Edward, this is your room."

"Thank you Molly." Edward said. "But, please, call me Ed. When you say Edward it sounds like you're going to kill me."

Her eyes widened. "Does that happen often?" She asked.

Ed nodded.

"Well, this is the room you'll be sharing. Lunch will be done in a few, and dinner will be done as soon as the meeting's over. Also, there will be another boy coming later in the day, and he'll probably be in a rotten mood, so try not to disturb him too much." She informed them.

"Thanks again Molly." Ed said as she left the room.

As soon as she was gone, Ed shut the door and collapsed on his bed, fully intending to take a nap. Then Envy pounced on him and kissed him hungrily, a purr rumbling deep in his chest. Edward moaned and unbuttoned his blue military jacket, leaving just his black undershirt as Envy took of his pants.

Edward groaned and twisted as Envy pinned him down on the bed with his body, Ed reached out and ripped off his Sin's shirt. Envy responded by kissing him more as Ed pulled down the fabric of his skirt. Envy squirmed and lifted his hips, shamelessly begging for more.

Once his skirt was off, Envy shoved Ed down again and wrapped his his legs firmly around the back of Ed's waist, both moaning and purring in passion with each thrust.

As soon as that was done, Ed flipped around and nipped and licked Envy's chest. Done with that, Ed moved upward to lap at Envy's ear, his rough tongue running over the soft and fury surface and biting slightly when Envy started to lick the skin on Ed's shoulder where it met cold metal.

They shifted positions as they sat up, Envy moving into Ed's lap as their tounges fought for control. Envy hissed as Ed moved his kisses and bites lower again. Then they fell onto the bed again and Envy once more pushed Ed underneath him and took back his position on top.

* * *

All the eavesdroppers outside the door could hear from the inside was the sound of cloth tearing and some satisfied groans and purrs, along with calls of "Beg Chibi!", and the occasional scream of "Harder Envy!"

"Who's room is that?" Fred asked.

"No idea." George replied. "Wonder what they're doing in there."

"I don't think we want to know." Fred advised.

"Let's ask mom who our new guests are." George suggested.

Fred nodded, then they both apparated down into the kitchen where their mom was. Also in the kitchen was a girl wearing a powder blue short sleeve shirt and a light blue ans white tie-dye skirt that covered her feet, and had blond hair that was in braided pigtails.

"Hey mom?" George asked.

"Who's out-" Fred started.

"-new friends?" George finished.

"Exchange students." Molly told them. "Professor McGonagall brought them earlier. this is Bryanna Jay  
She explained as she gestured to Bryanna, who was sitting in a chair next to her.

"Who else-"

"-came with?" They asked Bryanna.

"My friend Edward and his...friend Envy." Bryanna told them, deciding against telling them about Ed and Envy's relationship.

"Envy?" Fred repeated.

"What an odd name." George commented.

"Those boys are quite odd. One's a shrimp, the other's a cross dressing palm tree." Bryanna agreed with a chuckle.

"Boys?" George repeated, ignoring the rest of Bryanna's comment.

"Then what were-"

"-they doing-"

"-in their room?" The twins asked.

Bryanna face-palmed "What did you hear?" She asked them.

"Sounded like purring." One twin told her.

"And moaning." The other added.

Bryanna sighed, annoyed and glared at the floor before getting up with a huff. "Excuse me Molly, I'll be right back." She excused herself with a smile as she walked up the stairs to get to Ed and Envy's room with the twins following.

When Bryanna got to the door leading to the boy's room, she could still hear purring and moaning coming from the other side.

"knock, knock, I'm coming in!" She sung, her hand resting slightly on the unlocked door knob. "Put your clothes back on!" She then yelled, before coming in a minute later.

When Bryanna entered the room with the twins still behind her, Ed and Envy were now fully clothed in what they had arrived in, and-thankfully- all their cat parts were hidden.

"Really you two!" Bryanna scolded. " We've only been here for thirty minutes and you're already in bed together!"

As soon as that was said, the twin's usually smiling faces turned to ones of shock and horror.

"You mean-"

"-they were-

They didn't finish their question. Instead they shared another disgusted look before apparating back to their rooms with a loud _pop_!

The three Amestrians stared at the spot where the redheaded twins disappeared with confused expressions.

"Well." Bryanna stated, done being confused. "Now that you two are dressed, let's go down and be social! Ed, you night want to change out of your military uniform though, remember what Hawkeye said about keeping the military thing a secret?" She advised as she went back down to the kitchen so Ed could change.

When Ed came downstairs to the kitchen, he was dressed in his usual black leather outfit, except his coat was black too. After he realized red was too easy to shoot at, he switched the colors on the jacket around. He and Envy took a spot next to each other at a table that was curently occupied by 14 people, including Bryanna.

"Hello Ed." Molly greeted from her spot by the stove where she was cooking lunch.

"Everyone!" She called to the group at the table. "This is Ed and Envy. They're going to be staying with us along with Bryanna until school starts. Edward, Envy, these are my children Bill, Fred George, Ron, and Ginny. These young ladies are Nymphadora Tonks and Hermione Granger. The men next to them are Sirius, and Remus Lupin."

Ed waved and Envy just gave a small nod in their direction.

Molly turned to the twins. "You asked earlier about Edward and Envy doing something in their room. What were they doing that was so confusing?" She asked.

The twin's faces turned green at the memory.

"You don't-"

"-want to know." They told her.

Bryanna eyed Ed and Envy's clothes. "Really guys? The same outfit every day? Would it kill you to change it up every know and then?"

"Hey!" Ed exclaimed, offended. "I'm wearing a different jacket!"

"Yah," Bryanna agreed, "Only after you realized red was too easy to target. All you did was swich the colors around!"

Everyone laughed at that, even though the only people who knew what Bryanna was talking about was Ed and Envy.

"I told you Chibi!" Envy gloated. "I told you we needed to go out and get you a new wardrobe!"

"I don't want or need you going shopping for me Envy!" Ed protested. "AND WHO YOU CALLING SO SMALL HE CAN'T BE SEEN BY AN ANT WITH A MAGNIFYING GLASS?"

"You Ed!" Bryanna stated bluntly, still laughing. "You're a furry shrimp and Envy's a gender confused, anorexic palm tree with a tail. Together, you two make a perfect couple."

Everyone laughed again, except Molly, who was offended that such words had come out of Bryanna's mouth.

"Did you forget already Lieutenant?" Ed asked over everyone's laughter. "Me and Envy have been a couple for a while now."

Everyone stopped laughing abruptly.

"Aren't you both men?" Hermione asked.

"Yep." They both assured her.

"But I'm a shape shifter, so that could change if I wanted it to." Envy added.

"What do you mean by shape shifter?" Tonks asked.

Her question was answered when ropes of red electricity surrounded Envy, and he turned into Ed in his military uniform.

"Are you a Metamorphmagus?" Tonks asked.

"That's the second time today I've been asked If I'm something when I don't even know what it is!" Envy exclaimed in Ed's voice before shifting back to his regular form.

"Didn't that McGonagall lady ask you this morning if you were an animagus?" Ed asked his boyfriend.

"Yes! I don't know what that is either!" Envy exclaimed, ticked off.

"Why would she ask that?" Hermione wondered.

"Because this morning I was a cat." Envy told her.

"You can shift into people and animals?" Sirius asked.

"Yep." Envy grinned, showing his pointy cat teeth.

"If you can change how you look, why do you look like that?" Ron asked Envy. ""I can't tell if you are a guy or a girl. It's kind of disturbing."

"Ronald!" Molly scolded.

Envy was about to reply when another man came in. He was quite a sight, a chunk of his nose was missing, his face was scarred up, and he had an electric blue eye that looked like automail and was constantly moving, even when the other wasn't.

"Time to go." He growled. as soon as he spoke, about half the table got up to join the small group already behind the man.

"Where are you going?" Bryanna asked.

"Recovery mission." The man grunted out.

"We're going to go get Harry." Tonks elaborated.

After almost everyone left, it got boring. Edward and Envy, both not liking to stay in one place for too long, left to go back to their room.


	3. Chapter 3

This time, I would like to thank OukamiYasha and her story _'Homunculus, he wrote' _for helping me through writers block! Check out the story, it's awesome!

DISCLAIMER: You really think I own this stuff? How could you see any of this actually happening in either series?

* * *

Ed and Envy's intense make out session was interrupted by screaming.

"SO YOU HAVEN'T BEEN IN THE MEETINGS, BIG DEAL! YOU'VE STILL BEEN HERE, HAVEN'T YOU? YOU'VE STILL BEEN TOGETHER! ME, I'VE BEEN STUCK AT THE DURSLEYS' FOR A MONTH! AND I'VE HANDLED MORE THAN YOU TWO'VE EVER MANAGED AND DUMBLEDORE KNOWS IT-WHO SAVES THE SORCER'S STONE? WHO GOT RID OF RIDDLE? WHO SAVED BOTH YOUR SKINS FROM DEMENTORS?"

"What was that?" Ed and Bryanna asked as they poked their heads out of their doors.

"Don't know." Envy said. "Wanna go check it out?"

After discovering that it was only the shouts of an angst filled teenager, Ed, Bryanna, and Envy went into the boy's room to study.

"What do you think of all this Order business?" Bryanna asked Ed and Envy from where she was on the hard wood floor of their room.

Though the hadn't gone into the room with the screaming teenager, they had stayed outside the door listening, hoping to gain some information about the situation Mustang had thoughtlessly thrown them in. They stayed until they though they had enough important information, them all three of them left to go to Ed and Envy's room.

"It's ridiculous." Ed summed up from where he was next to her.

"It's bull crap." Envy added from where he was, laying upside down on his bed with his '_Introduction to Magic' _book covering his face.

"Totally." Bryanna agreed with both of them. "And what about that 'You-Know-Who' guy? It's like no, I'm sorry, I don't know who! In fact, I have no clue who you're talking about!"

"And the best part," Envy chuckled. "is that they've basically started a war between the local government and the populace over the diluted words of a single teenager!"

Ed and Bryanna laughed along with him.

"What about all this magic?" Bryanna asked as she laid back on the carpet behind her in the middle of the room. Her voice was light and airy, and she had a vacant look in her eyes, as if she was miles away in a day dream. "I think it's so cool how these wizards can come so close to preforming alchemy without being alchemists themselves."

Ed slammed his book on the floor in front of him. "But what about the laws? There's no equivalent exchange, no providence, no conservation of mass, no nothing!" He exclaimed as he expressed his anger by throwing his arms in an exaggerated fit. "Equivalent exchange? Why ever would they need that, when they have 'wands' that they can wave around and say made up words that sound completely idiotic and do 'magic'?" He asked, his face slightly red from his rant. "Well, good for them. They can go to hell for all I care." He concluded.

Bryanna sat up and stared at him open mouthed. "Wow Ed. I knew Equivalent exchange was a big issue for you, but I never thought you'd make that big of a deal out of it."

Ed frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. "Yeah, well equivalent exchange is the reason I still have a metal arm and leg. It was the reason Al was a suit of armor with a soul bonded to it for four years. It's also the reason Envy and I are cat chimeras."

"I thought the reason you and Envy are chimeras was because Alphonse smuggled a few cats inside his armor before you preformed the transmutation and Envy was going to use part of his philosopher's stone to help, so he was in the circle too?" Bryanna asked.

"That was the main reason." Ed told her. "but equivalent exchange was also part of it."

"Okay then." Bryanna shrugged her shoulders and resumed reading.

Ed sighed and turned back to his book, but he couldn't concentrate. His head was too full with trying to figure out how this 'magic' that was so much like alchemy was preformed while only using a small twig.

"I got it!" He exclaimed, causing Envy to look up at him. "Bryanna?" He called, getting the blonde's attention. "Did Alphonse or I ever tell you the story about the time we met the Tringam brothers?" He asked.

"The red water story?" Bryanna confirmed. "Yeah, Alphonse told me about it. Why?"

"Well..." Ed started. "To get rid of all the red water, I made the trees and other plants in the area absorb the water, right?"

"Yeah," Bryanna nodded, unsure of where Ed was trying to go with this. "But, what does that have to do with magic?"

"What are wands made out of?" Ed asked, excited.

"Wood...?" Bryana answered, still not understanding. Then, her face lit up. "Oh!" She exclaimed. "You really think that?"

Ed nodded. "Positive. The only way that wizards would ever be able to get around equivalent exchange would be with wands made from trees that have absorbed red water!"

"We'll have to examine a wand more closely when we get our own." Bryanna decided.

They stopped talking theory's and incited worked more on their studies. After all, they had to pass these tests to get wands in the first place.

They were interrupted a few minutes later, however by Molly coming in with a trail of redheads behind her.

"Time for dinner." She told them.

"Thanks Molly." Bryanna said as she got up. "Although, for future reference, you might want to knock if only Edward and Envy are in the room." She waled out the door with Ed and Envy behind her. "It's just a warning."

"Alright..." Molly said slowly as she shut the door and led the way downstairs.

Molly went a bit faster than the rest of them, and soon she was already on the bottom floor while they were making their way onto the landing.

"I think they're still having the meeting..." Ed said to the rest of them as his ears poked up slightly from behind his high bangs.

"They are." Envy agreed as his ears came out from where they were hiding behind his headband.

They all looked down into the gloomy hallway below, where a dozen or so witches and wizards who were all whispering rapidly together.

All of the sudden, a thin long piece of flesh-colored string descended down from the upper levels in front of them. Ed and Envy had to resist the urge to swat at them as they looked up and saw Fred and George on the landing above them, lowering the strings near the crowd below just as they moved out the door.

"Dammit." The twins hissed.

"Don't forget to keep your voice down in the hall." One of the kids told them.

They caught up to Mrs. Weasley, who was at the front door along with Tonks and Lupin, and was helping them magically seal the many locks and bolts that practically framed the front door.

"We're eating in the kitchen." She told them when they met at the bottom of the stairs. "just tiptoe across the hall, and it's through this door-"

_CRASH!_

"Tonks!" She yelled.

"Sorry!" Tonks wailed. She was laying flat on the ground. "It's that stupid umbrella stand! That's the second time I've tripped over-"

Her frantic apology was interrupted by an earsplitting screech.

On the wall a moth-eaten velvet curtain that looked like it could be hiding a doorway flew open with a crash. There was no door behind them though, instead there was a picture of a sallow faced, pail skinned woman who was screaming like she was being tortured.

"Make it shut up!" Envy yelled.

He and Ed were in similar positions, doubled over in pain with their hands clamped over the top of their heads, trying to block the sound from their supper sensitive ears.

Sirius and Lupin ran in then, Sirius arguing with the picture the whole time until he and Lupin managed to force the curtains shut again.

"Thanks Sirius!" Bryanna exclaimed.

"Hello Harry." Sirius greeted the teenager standing next to them. "I see you've met my mother."

"Your mother?" Bryanna asked slowly.

"why would there be a portrait of your mother here?" Harry asked.

"Didn't anyone tell you?" Sirius asked. "This was my parent's house. But I'm the only Black left, so it's mine now. I offered it to Dumbledore as headquarters-the only useful thing I've been able to do."

"No offense." Ed said. "But you need to hire a maid or something."

"Because this place is nasty!" Envy finished.

Downstairs in the kitchen could only be described as anywhere else in the house. Dark, dank gloomy and dusty with rough stone walls with the only source of light being the fireplace at the end of the room. The long wooden table went straight down the middle of the room, with many chairs crammed near it, and was littered with rolls of parchment, wine bottles and what appeared to be a bundle of rags.

Mr. Weasley and Bill were the only two still at the table, but got up hurriedly when Molly cleared her throat.

Ed, Envy and Bryanna wanted nothing more than to safely work their way around Mr. Weasley, who was currently wrenching Harry's arm out of its socket with his excessive hand shaking. Unfortunately, Ed and Bryanna were caught.

"Colonel Elric! Lieutenant Jay! How wonderful to meet you!" He said as he wrenched their arms out of their sockets, as he did with Harry.

"How do you know about our military status?" Ed asked, his eyes wary.

"Lieutenant Colonel Hawkeye said only those with the local government would know." Bryanna provided.

"I'm with the ministry." Mr. Weasley told them. "Misuse of Muggle artifacts section."

At the table, Bill and Tonks were trying to clean off the table. Tonks managed to knock over a candle, sending wax all over the papers left on the table.

Molly cleared it with a wave of her wand before snatching up all the papers and tossing them to Bill.

"This should have all been cleared up as soon as the meeting's over!" She complained as she made her way over to a dresser in the corner and started unloading plates.

"Come sit down." Sirius said to Ed, Harry, and Bryanna, motioning for them to sit at the table where Envy already was. "Have any of you met Mundungus?"

The pile of rags on the table gave a snort and jerked awake.

"Some'n say m' name?" It asked "I 'gree with Sirus" He continued as he waved a hand in the air.

"Oh look! A drunk bum! Bryanna stated obviously, causing Ginny to giggle.

"The meeting's over Dung." Sirius said as everyone sat down. "Harry's arrived."

"Eh?" Mundungus said as he peered at Harry though a tangled mat of hair. "So 'e 'as. You all right 'arry?"

"Excuse me," Ed interrupted, "but why is there a drunk bum at the table?"

His question went unanswered as they all started coughing from the excess amount of thick green smoke coming from Mundungus's pipe.

"Will you please not smoke at the table?" Molly requested. "Especially when we're about to eat dinner!"

"Sorry Molly."

"And if you want dinner before midnight I'll need a hand!" She added, addressing them all.

"What can I do Molly?" Tonks asked a little too enthusiastically.

"No... That's alright Tonks." Molly said. "You've done enough tonight."

"No, I want to help!" Tonks protested as she got up, knocking over a chair in the process.

"I'll do it!" Bryanna volunteered.

"I though you couldn't cook?" Ed asked.

"I couldn't." Bryanna agreed. "But then Alphonse taught me some simple stuff, and now I can make just about anything."

Ed nodded, but said nothing more as he and Envy sat in silence.

Envy leaned back and closed his eyes, but was startled out of his relapse by shouting.

"Fred! George! No, just carry them!"

Envy opened his eyes in surprise to see a cauldron of stew, a flagon of what looked like beer, and a breadboard and knife hurdling though the air. The stew skidded to a stop at the end of the table, the beer fell to the floor, and the knife skidded off the board , flew at Envy, and hit him in the head with enough force to send him flying backwards out of his chair.

"For heavens sake!" Mrs. Weasley screamed. "I've had enough of this! Just because you're allowed to use magic doesn't mean you have to whip out your wands for every little thing!"

"Shit!" Envy cussed as he got up from the floor, using the table to prop himself up.

"We were just trying to save time!" Fred defended.

"Sorry Envy." George said to him as he gathered up the items and was looking for the knife.

"Didn't mean to-" George stopped as he along with everyone else stared at Envy's forehead, which was still trying to heal around the knife.

"Um...Envy?" Bryanna said.

"What?" he asked, annoyed.

"You got a little something right here." She told him, pointing to a spot on her forehead.

"I know." he said, glaring up at the knife.

Everyone except for Ed and Bryanna were too frightened to say anything as Envy pulled out the knife and tendrils of red lightning sealed the wound shut.

"Bloody hell." One of the redheads said. "What kind of magic was that?"

"It's not magic exactly..." Bryanna tried to answer.

"I'm a homunculus." Envy stated.

"Homunculus?" One girl with curly brown hair repeated.

"You would think of it as a type of humanoid magical creature." Bryanna explained.

"Like a werewolf?" Sirius asked.

"Those don't exist, but yes. Sort of." Ed answered.

"You two aren't very good at keeping our cover." Bryanna complained. "Lt. Colonel Hawkeye told us to keep it as long as possible, and here you two are blowing it the first day."

"You were the one who said homunculi were magical creatures!" Ed pointed out.

"What was I supposed to say?" Bryanna asked. "That everyone in our country has unnatural healing abilities?"

"Yes!" Ed told her. "It would have at least kept our cover!"

"We still have our cover!" Bryanna told him. "Just Envy's is blown. They still think we're perfectly normal humans."

"Maybe that's because we are!" Ed exclaimed.

"Well, we're human at least." Bryanna said, looking pointedly at Ed's ears before moving her gaze down to his arm. "Maybe not normal, but defiantly human."

"You two are perfectly normal by my standers." Envy said.

"Thanks Envy, that makes us feel so much better!" Bryanna said sarcastically.

Envy shrugged his shoulders. "Just trying to help."

Someone cleared their throat, reminding Ed, Envy, and Bryanna that they weren't the only ones in the room.

"Well..." Bryanna said as she clapped her hands once loudly. "Who's hungry? 'Cause I know I am! Let's have some of that stew!"

"yay! Stew!" Ed exclaimed as he sat back down.

There was an awkward period of silence as everyone started eating. Soon though, they were lulled back into conversing normally.

Envy sat back in his chair as he listened to bits and pieces of conversation, not in the mood himself to talk.

"-there's something trapped in the writing desk in the drawing room." Envy heard Molly tell Sirius. "It could just be a boggart, but I thought we ought to ask Alastor to have a look at it before we let it out."

'_What's a boggart?' _Envy wondered before looking lower down the table.

"Do that one like a pig's snout Tonks!" He heard from where the girls were sitting.

"Hey Ed, check this out." Envy said to him as he gestured in the direction of Tonks. "Looks like I'm not the only one with shape shifting abilities here!"

Bryanna was in no way impressed as she watched Tonk's change her face bit by bit. In fact, she was a little disgusted. "This is worse than seeing Edward and Envy roll play when they think no ones watching." She observed.

She spoke a little too loudly, because Ginny, Hermione, and Tonks had heard her over the general roar of conversation.

"That's not a very appropriate thing to say at the dinner table." Tonks scolded.

"It is when you spend most of your time around them." Bryanna protested as she pointed to Ed and Envy next to her. They had abandoned their food and instead opted for french kissing.

"Hey Ed." Mudungus slurred. "There's no french kissing allowed at the dinner table. Even if your girlfriend is a smoking hot bitch."

"I am not a girl!" Envy yelled as he slammed his fist down on the table with enough force to crack it. "Why do people always assume that?"

"If Alphonse hadn't been the one to introduce me to Ed, I would have thought you both were women." Bryanna admitted.

"That's beside the point though." Ed frowned. "You broke the table Envy!"

"Sorry." Envy growled, his tone saying otherwise.

Bryanna sighed and shook her head. "You two! Sometimes it feels like I was dragged along just to babysit!"

"That's probably what Mustang had in mind when he included you." Ed said as he shrugged his shoulders.

Bryanna nodded. "You're probably right. Anyway, we should probably get back to studying before it gets too late."

"How far are you?" Hermione asked.

"I just got done with fourth year, Ed's in the middle of sixth, and I have no clue where Envy's at." Bryanna said as she led them upstairs.

* * *

I'm not dead, yay! It just took me forever to write this chapter for some odd reason I have no excuse for.

No smutty sex scenes in this one, sorry :( Maybe next chapter.

On a side note, have you guys seen 'A Very Potter Musical?' If you haven't look it up on YouTube!


	4. Chapter 4

Bryanna woke before everyone else the next morning, so she decided to try her hand at cooking. Downstairs in the kitchen, she decided on a variety of things, since there were so many people. She was busy at work when the adults came down the stairs.

They all sat down except for Molly, who came up from behind Bryanna and took her wand out. "That's quite nice of you Bryanna, but you didn't have to make us breakfast."

Bryanna shook her head. "No. I want to. It's equivalent exchange for housing us here until school starts."

She pulled a couple of extremely raw steaks off the skillet when the twins came downstairs.

"Hey guys." She greeted over her shoulder.

"Hey Bryanna." They chorused as they sat down.

She turned back to stir the scrambled eggs and to put more toast in the toaster.

"Fred, George, could you go wake the others?" Molly requested.

"Sure." They said as they got up.

Ed and Envy walked down the stairs a few minutes later, yawning loudly with half-closed eyes.

"Morning Lieutenant." Ed yawned.

"Morning Colonel." Bryanna greeted.

"Why do you call each other that?" Sirius asked.

"Call each other what?" Ed asked him.

"Lieutenant and Colonel."

"I don't really know." Bryanna answered as she brought Ed an Envy their slightly warm raw steaks. "We've called each other that for a while now."

"Anyway," Molly interrupted. "As soon as we're all done here, we need to start cleaning."

"Envy and I can do that." Ed volunteered. "The lieutenant still has studying to do, don't you Bryanna?"

Bryanna nodded as she put down the plates of food. "Alright everyone, dig in." She said, just as the rest of the kids came down the stairs.

As soon as they walked into the drawing room, a towel and a spray bottle were thrust into Ed and Envy's hands. As they were covering their faces with the rags, a loud, metallic sounding bell came from downstairs, followed by the wails from last night.

"I keep telling them not to ring the doorbell!" Sirius yelled exasperated as he hurried out of the room followed by Ed, who had a murderous gleam in his eyes.

After a loud clap and a somewhat quite explosion, Ed and Sirius both practically skipped back into the room with happily insane grins on their faces. Sirius walked off, and Ed put the cloth back over his face and they started spraying.

It was around noon when they were finally done, but then Molly told them they were to keep cleaning after lunch. Envy and Ed had managed to escape under the pretense of bringing Bryanna some of the sandwiches and doing some more studying themselves. Of course, since they were alone in the room together, they didn't get that much reviewing done.

The next few days went along in the same tune, and in that time, Ed learned to hate magic more and more, and Bryanna became more fascinated with it. One night at dinner however, the mindless tune halted when the topic on the table turned to Harry's hearing.

"Now, what did you do to get arrested, exactly?" Envy asked.

"I preformed underage magic in front of a muggle." Harry told him.

"What in the name of Truth is a muggle?" Ed asked, his temper had become shorter than he over the past few days, and it was only with Envy's intervention that it hadn't grown shorter.

"A muggle is someone who can't preform magic." Hermione explained to him.

"So, because you used magic in front of someone who is unable to, you got arrested?" Bryanna clarified. "That's pretty harsh. Where we come from, just because someone is unable to do it, doesn't mean that they can't ever come in contact with it."

"Granted, what we use is somewhat different than your magic, and just about anyone who tries to learn it can preform it. But cutting them off from it entirely just because they can't preform it is a little harsh."Ed agreed.

"How is what you guys preform different than magic?" Ginny asked.

"Because what we use isn't magic, it's science." Bryanna told her.

"And we don't use those silly little stick things you guys are always waving around." Ed added, gloating slightly.

"Wow. You really hate this type of magic, don't you Ed?" Bryanna asked.

"Yes I do." Ed admitted. "I hate it with the fiery passion of an angered mango."

"Chibi! I'm bored!" Envy wined, butting into the conversation. "Come upstairs and play with me!"

Ed grinned statistically and nodded, cuing Envy to pick him up bridal style and whisk him upstairs. Bryanna's shoulders fell and she sighed before excusing herself and going upstairs to try and get some last minute studying in, no longer in the mood to be social.

* * *

Harry awoke at half-past five that morning as abruptly as if someone had yelled in his ear. He lay in bed for a few minutes, still exhausted from the amount of noise Edward and Envy had been making in the room across the hall. He had no clue as to what they could possibly be doing, it sounded like a very heated cat fight, accompanied by yowls and hisses.

He arose from his bed them, and put on the clothes Mrs. Wesley had laid out for him the night before.

Downstairs, he had expected the kitchen to be empty, but it was actually quite full. Mrs. Weasley- who was dressed in a light purple dressing gown- was at the stove making breakfast. Siting at the table was Mr. Weasley, Sirius, Lupin, a curly, blond-haired Tonks, and Bryanna. Bryanna appeared to be agitated, and with good reason: her long blond hair was instead a bright, cotton candy blue.

"Now, what spell did you preform?" Tonks asked as she patted Bryanna on the shoulder.

"I don't know!" Bryanna exclaimed, throwing her arms in the air. "I don't even have a wand! I was going through my sixth year transfiguration book-near the end- when I heard a noise from the guys room that freaked me out, and I was about to yell at them when, the next thing I knew I saw a flash of light, and my hair was the same color as my nightgown!"

Tonks looked slightly confused, and was about to say something to comfort Bryanna, when a look of sudden realization dawned on her face.

"Edward and Envy!" She growled. "If this isn't reversible, they are so dead! I don't care that Ed is my boss and the brother of my boyfriend! This will be on their heads!"

She turned towards the kitchen door in a huff, and Tonks looked up to see Harry in the doorway.

"Hey Harry." Bryanna muttered as she gave the tabletop a death glare.

Molly shot Harry a smile before muttering "breakfast" and pulling out her wand again.

Bryanna got up suddenly, tromped out of the room, and up the stairs, with the excuse "Going to go wake up the guys" thrown over her shoulder.

Tonks yawned a good morning to Harry also before offering him Bryanna's chair, and managing to knock down the one next to it.

Mrs. Weasley made Harry some toast, and a few minutes later Bryanna came back into the kitchen with two very tired kitties trailing behind her.

"Chibi! I don't wanna wake up!" Envy yowled through a yawn large enough to show all of his very sharp teeth.

"What do you mean, wake up?" Ed asked as they sat down next to each other. "Neither of us went to bed last night!"

"I told you two I was going to wake you two up at five to get ready!" Bryanna reminded them. She was slowly starting to nod off to, because she hadn't gotten any sleep last night either.

"I'm guessing you three aren't morning people?" Lupin asked.

Ed shook his head and yawned, his long hair whipping around and his ears perked up. "What did you have to wake us up so early for anyways Aqua?" He asked.

"'Cause we have that test placement thingy today. That's also why I was up so late studying." She told him, laying her head down on the tabletop.

"Hey, Ed..." Sirius started as he gave Ed's head an uncomfortable look.

"Yah?" Ed answered, still slightly delirious.

"What's that on your head?"

Ed looked confused and put one of his clawed hands on his head and felt around. "All that's up there are my ears..."

"Your ears?" Lupin repeated. By now, everyone at the table had turned their attention to Ed.

"Yah, my ears." Ed answered, slightly annoyed. "Envy had them too. Envy! Show everyone your ears!"

Envy, who was busy sleeping on the table, merely groaned in annoyance and flicked the tip of Ed's nose with his tail.

"I said your ears Envy, not your tail." Ed said growing more annoyed. Wanting to get Envy back foe flicking him in the nose, he brought his tail above the table, where it was caught by Mrs. Weasley.

"Is this a tail?" She asked.

"Yes, it it my tail, now please give it back." Ed requested.

"Do you have any other...cat-like qualities?" Tonks asked.

"Well..."Ed hesitated slightly as he leaned over to rip Envy's headband off. "We've got cat ears, a tail, fur-mine's golden, Envy's black-green- and claws. Did I forget anything Envy?"

"Our pointy teeth and craving for live pray?" Envy added.

"That too." Ed agreed with a nod.

Bryanna leaned over and sniffed Ed. "Eww. Mr. Weasley, your going to have to go on ahead, I'll have someone take us in later."

"Why?" Ed asked.

"Because Ed," Bryanna stated bluntly."You and Envy both reek of sex and sweat, and I don't think you should show up for a test smelling like that."

Mr. Weasley nodded the checked his watch. "I think we should go know." He said to Harry. "It's a bit early, but I think you'll be better off there than hanging around here."

"Let's go Colonel." Bryanna said to Ed as she got up and pulled Envy up the stairs to the nearest bathroom by his tail. "I can't do this to you, so I will have to make do with Envy. You both still need a bath though, and you will end up in that tub one way or another!"

* * *

Upstairs, Bryanna realized why cats were so small. They made them that way so they were easier to clean, because washing two cats that were both the size of a 15-year-old was _hard!_

"Please hold still Colonel! Tonks only gave us a half hour to get ready!" Bryanna shouted as Ed tried to make a break for the door again.

Envy was semi-cooperating, and was already out and dry. Ed however, was slippery and jittery, and over all unable to hold still long enough for her to clean him.

'_I don't know if I want Al to get me a cat anymore.' _She thought as she pushed a strand of blue hair behind her ear.

Ed was finally washed though, and she threw him some clean clothes before leaving to change herself. She threw on a dark blue long sleeve v-neck and a simple pair of blue gray jeans.

Ed had changed back into his black outfit, minus the jacket with the Flamel symbol on it. He and Bryanna had been unable to convince Envy to wear something different, so he was wearing his usual cross-dresser outfit.

They walked downstairs together before finding Tonks and having her apparate them to the ministry.

* * *

In the testing room, Bryanna was about half way through the placement test for her year. Figuring her age, she wouldn't answer any questions right below sixth year, even though she could probably answer all of them and get ninety percent of it right. She figured it was the same way for Ed and Envy, except Ed would want to stay in fifth year, and there's no way Envy would ever leave his Chibi.

The test was incredibly easy in Bryanna's opinion. After the State Alchemist's test, almost anything else was easy. She hoped the whole year wouldn't be like this, otherwise it would just be boring. At least she had all those breaks to look forward to for seeing Alphonse.

Al...the very thought of him sent her into a tizzy worthy of a lovestruck school girl. That's probably how Ed felt whenever he thought about Envy. She never really got that. As far as she knew, Ed was straight, but he and Envy had been dating for a few years now and were very sexually active. Although, Envy was neither a girl or boy, so who knew?

She tapped her empty quill against the answer sheet. Another thing she didn't get. Why do these people hate normal writing utensils so much? At the beginning of the exam she had asked for a mechanical pencil, and the woman had only rolled her eyes and muttered something about 'ignorant mugleborns.' There was only one thing she had learned about quills this entire half hour though, and that was that they were fucking annoying!

"All done!" She shouted as she skipped and hoped up to the woman who ran the test and handed in the papers. She walked out the door without looking back and met Ed and Envy in front of the fountain.

At the fountain, Ed, Bryanna, and Envy met up with Harry and Mr. Weasley.

"So...What happened?" Bryanna asked.

"Cleared of all charges!" Harry told them.

"Congratulations!" Ed said.

"Can we go home now?" Envy wined.

"Yes, we're going now." Ed assured him as they walked out of the building.

* * *

At the house, Bryanna, Ed, and Envy watched as the rest of the hose celebrated. They all claimed that they knew Harry was going to be alright, yet they were all extremely relived.

Ginny and the twins were dancing in a circle singing _"he got off, he got off, he got off!"_ Walking around the dancing red-heads, Ed, Envy and Bryanna sat down for lunch.

"How did the tests go?" Molly asked as she passed out plates of sandwiches.

"It was easy!" Bryanna said as she took a bite of her sandwich.

"It was more than easy!" Ed argued.

"It was boring!" Envy wined.

"If the whole school year will be like that, think of all the free time we'll have!" Ed purred, grinning at Envy seductively.

"Also," Envy added with a huge grin. "No Flaming Pony!"

"Who in the world is that?" Ginny asked.

"My boss." Ed told her. "Envy doesn't like him because he's convinced that the reason I always come home so late is because we bang each other after work

"Well you are!" Envy hissed.

"Stop it you two!" Bryanna complained. "Envy, quit being paranoid. Ed, we don't need to hear about how you've banged every man in the military in the supply closet!"

"I have not banged _every _man in the military!" Ed yelled. "Nor have I ever banged anyone in the supply closet!"

"So you've banged _some _of the men in the military? Bryanna asked.

"No!" Ed shouted, throwing his arms in the air. "The only man I've eve had sex with is Envy, and we're not even sure if he's a guy!"

"Ha!" Bryanna exclaimed as she pointed her finger at Ed. "You just openly admitted to having sex with another man! I have to tell Alphonse, so then he'll have to admit I'm right, and pay up!"

"You made a bet with my little brother on whether I was gay or not?" Ed asked.

Their bickering was interrupted by Ginny and the twins, who's chanting had gotten louder, sounding more like shouting now.

"Would you shut up!" Bryanna demanded.


End file.
